A Thousand Miles

i’ve been thinking lately.and figured,”what the hell is up with her?”

she has been constantly putting me in trouble.especially with that teacher.

what on Earth is freakin wrong with her?

Darn it darn it darn it.

Dang!

I wish you all the blessings for year 2010.

& I do hope year 2009 will end in the nicest way possible.

Another chapter in your life is about to unfold.

May this year bring you prosperity, peace, good health & joy.

Live it well.

Happy holidays everyone!

*btw,Kong Hei Fat Choi is pronounced as Kiong Hee Huat Tsai

I’ve been wanting to post something like this since last night but couldn’t find ways on how I’d be able to deliver what I want you readers to feel.So here goes nothing.

Have you ever felt that certain emotion when someone so dear to you,hurts you so bad that it made you change into someone you never thought you’d be,as a part of your defense mechanism at least?

Well,people change because of a lot of things. Of things you either can or can’t control, Of events so tragic and meaningful.

Maybe because your father is now in jail,or maybe because your mother abandoned you as a kid, or your husband cheated a couple of times already…These tragedies in people’s lives make it more difficult for forgiveness,acceptance and healing.

I know in my own right that they are being punished for their misdoings,paying for their retribution,but is this not enough?Even when already paid their debt and deserve a new life as a renewed individual?

why nurture the pain,the anguish,hold a grudge against that person?why torment yourself?would it hurt your ego if you forgive that person?Especially if it happened years ago?

Don’t you ever wonder what it’s like to sleep at night without any worries?problems? Wake up every morning with a smile plastered in your face?To be able to see the brighter side of things?

I doubt it if you don’t.

We are all but human. Just because you’re the smartest or prettiest kid in school,or maybe at the height of your career,doesn’t mean you can play judge or worse, play “God”. Wake up, open your eyes.Realize that you cannot be on top every time and that you also make mistakes, and that you want to receive the clemency they could possibly give you, if ever you make a mistake.

Why not at least give them the benefit of the doubt?They should at least be given that right.

Of people finally set free from the haunting cell they’ve lived in for years,from the metal bars that kept them from the world,don’t they deserve a second chance? Have you ever accepted the fact that your father was put to jail for stealing?Not knowing that the money was for your hospitalization?;That your mother abandoned you for your own good?After all, she left you at the house gate of a wealthy couple who cannot have a baby because of complications?; That your husband cheated because he wasn’t happy anymore?because you have not made any effort to make time for him, so he looked for it on other women?

Have you ever tried to see your faults at all?You shouldn’t just put all the blame on them,rather,accept that you were a part of why this had happened.

Forgive them.No matter how hard it is,try.
Accept that whatever happened,happened.and you can never change that.
Heal the wound.It may leave a scar,but this scar will just be a reminder that you know better now.

Do not be the judge.Instead, let it rest on God’s hands.
Then you will be at peace with the world.

This is totally going to be VERY RANDOM.
so,yesterday we had a writing activity called ” Freewriting”.
And man, how I suck at that.haha!

Sr. gave us a title and we’re supposed to write something about that topic. We were then given 3 minutes to write as many as we can,it only has a single rule: Do not raise your pen,if you do so, you’d be deducted with points.

And so when it started, I can honestly say that I wasn’t able to write a single thing that makes sense.Such a doof.XD
and we even have to laminate that whole thing. sooo embarrassing.Now that’s a masterpiece I will NEVER forget.

oh,and by the way, while I’m writing this little composition of mine, my friend, Ms. Jelannie Aviles, is reading it…and actually laughed a little laugh that’s really hilarious.

And another thing, hey giry! I MISS YOU
there’s something you’re not telling me.
Spill the beans when you get home, kay?

Damn.How I hate that song.
” Always be my Baby”…Ahh,the memoirs.
*sobs*
*laugh*

kiddin It aint makin anyone cry right now.Nyahahaha

To Jennie Rose Tolentino Lin:
JINK!! I miss you! dont rot,kay? haha
why not try posting some new pictures for a change,eh?

and MISS TACYNI MONECE G. TAMAYO, i haven’t heard from you for like, months. And you haven’t greeted me yet.hmpft.

UPIDSTEI! SHWACKOPFV!TINY! DANG!JINKY!
- i freakin miss everyone.we’re MILES apart.
waaahh!

anyway, gotta go. I just skipped class for this.
NAh,kiddin

toodles!

XOXO

A lot has been going on lately and i find it quite hard to cope up with everything.

still struggling from past events,i have been bombarded with issues of the like.

although i may say that,really,they aren’t as difficult as it looks like because honestly,it isn’t much of a big deal until you consider it.

they all depend on how you look at it.

of course,i have been currently undergoing the normal teenage process and it sure is hard to be a teen.especially at college,where various pressures exist.

according to my P.E. professor, “college is the time where people look for their mate”.what the hell,right?people go to college to study and have a degree, not go around and look for prospective mates.it’s like saying prostitution in campus or PDA.

anyway,in another perspective of mine,it’s the time where people are more interested in looking for people who fit their requirements or standards or what they look for from the opposite sex.

and so,what i actually thought of that instant was the fact that he may be true.it is so obvious,if i may say.But honestly,i dont think im into that stage yet. Im busy trying to reach my goal. But looking around me, almost everyone in the class has a “special someone”,as others call it.of course, i still feel a certain amount of resentment,but still,i am contented.Now i do,there’s time for that matter,for now, i am driven,my future is my priority,i have plans and goals and i will not stop until i reach it.for now,i am contented.

Today was a very good day.

although it rained like hell,it was not that big of a problem.

First,I was able to do something big for a dear friend.Clearly, I became the “bridge”.Now you know what I mean.Anyway, i was happy to have helped,in any way that I can.

second,I saw what i needed to see.To see the people that I always look forward to seeing.

Third,even though i think i flunked the oration in english class, i still think i was able to prove something. My classmates still congratulated me for a job well done. Though i missed a lot that I was supposed to say, I still think my teacher was “impressed”?haha. I hope so. I just really hate when my nervousness gets the best of me.

And lastly, I was introduced to someone that i’ve been wanting to meet for a long time now.It’s not that i like him or something.It’s just that i wanted to get to know him.okay?so dont bugg me or make any issue about it.:D

so,yeah,guess that’s it.I had a great day.It started when patsy greeted me at 4 in the morning.:)

it has been a long time since i last experienced this kind of feeeling.never had a day as great as this.

and tomorrow’s my birthday!! yay!

happy burpday to me

xo,

nishy

i am DUMBFOUNDED.
never did i thought you would do such thing.
a backstabber you are.
an expert,i’d say.

i am DISAPPOINTED.
to see the trust i’ve given you,go to waste.
how a perfect creature would suddenly turn into a green-eyed monster.
a user-friendly, two-faced being.

too bad i was able to discover your agenda,a little too early.

i am MAD AT MYSELF for not being able to know who my real friends are.
i guess,i was just too friendly.maybe that’s the fault.

anyway,i am:

*pissed off
*surprised
*disappointed
*hurt

and by the way,IM NOT MAD.
I AM OUTRAGED.
THIS POST is dedicated to a female “friend” of mine.
you know who you are,dear.

i know I COULD BE MEAN..but only when im PROVOKED.

im nice when you’re nice.
this is THE rule.
LEARN it. LIVE it. LOVE it.
GOT IT?

right now, i am currently in a state of shock.

never thought i’d receive this kind of news.i went to this certain place for a vacation with the family.but i didnt expected all of this.

one of the many agenda of this said travelogue was to,supposedly,fix all loose ends & move on.

but man,i was taken by surprise that,i,unfortunately,will not be able to accompish that particular agenda.

it saddens me that it has to end that way but,i was completely appalled mainly because of the news,-er gossip that has circulated in town for a long time now.

as of now,i am obliged to keep mum about it,rest assured that i will,one of these days,reveal that main point.

right now,i have to go.so,yeah.i am pissed off but still surviving.

have you ever felt like telling everybody how you feel, just so they’d stop misunderstanding you?getting mad at you for your actions but doesnt even bother asking you why of your behavior?although you have been wanting to tell them everything,open up your heart,expose your true self,you just cant?

why?

 

why can you not say it?does it hurt you when people keep on misjudging you?does it?

 

it’s hard to grow up with something you believe in,then learn that it was just another kid’s imagination that passed you by.to protect your so called “self” from the public eye,to shield your thoughts by the purest of kind,all these are what may prevent you from opening up to just somebody.

trust.

is as important as a key to your soul.you give the key to the person you trust the most,and let that person see the REAL you.every flaw you have,every scar in your heart.and when you do that,it means that you trust that person completely.

and what if,you have given the key to the wrong person?what would happen?would you be able to bear every pain?

of course,at first you would not.but you’ll be able to think clearly soon,and get that key back and never let that person have it again.

if this event happens,there will be a positive & negative side of it.every problem,every circumstance,has  both sides.sure it will make you stonger and wiser,but will these be enough or will these be asworth hurting for?it depends on the situation.but what if,it will make you traumatized?change you & your personality in a negative way?make you close your door to new things & let you have a very redundant day for the rest of your life?
will these be enough?

 

will you still be able to give the key to your soul?
it’s hard,right?

but every pain heals.it may leave a scar,but the world will shine again.

SOON. 

oh my effin Gosh!
i am so pissed right now.
mad.betrayed.furious.outraged.

how could she do it?
ugh.

okay,here’s the story.

i was on my way home with *anna when she asked if we could go to this certain stall to buy food for her sister.
i said it was okay so we went there.on our way,i saw this lady sitting beside one of the food stalls.the weird thing is,i didnt care look at her.but her dress captured my attention.
i said,”that dress looks familiar”.then BAM! i remembered.

the lady looked at her side so i was able to see her face clearly..BAM!
it was my dearest *G.
IT WAS MY DEAREST *G, WEARING MY DRESS!!!! 

so that’s why i cant find it at home.she took it.WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.

ugh.what’s up with her?she should be thankful she’s pregnant or i would’ve been totally wild at her.embarrassed her in public,bla bla.
i am soo *?#$^%@ pissed.

and i havent worn that dress yet.sniff.:’(

oh well.so i just passed by.i didnt yell at her or something.
good thing im pretty good at controlling my temper now.

when i got home,i asked my parents,”had she visited here already?”.they said NO.
okay,she’s not gonna go here cause she knows that i’ll be totally outraged if i find out that she’s wearing MY dress..pft.
WAY TO GO,genius.

you’re already busted,y’know.

so far,im okay now.ive already blurted it out,so yeah.
let’s just hope that i wont see her ever again.

btw,im still waiting for an EXPLANATION.

toodles.=)

*the name has been changed to protect the privacy of the person involved.